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User Profile For bob&mike  
 
 
Comments Posted: 36
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Below is a list of comments made by bob&mike, in date order (newest at the top).

Comic: Boobs Ahoy! 2/5
"A couple of lesbian pirates sail the high seas having comedic adventures and kidnapping women for their own dirty purposes... with lots of jokes thrown in." Jesus, what has the world come to. CTD... Circling The Drain... I can understand putting a pair of tits in your comics every once and a while but oh my stars and garters did you have to base and ENTIRE comic about tits, pussy, and ass... And what's with all you nerds jacking off to comics anyways? Too pathetic for even REAL porn...
Comic: Ctrl+Alt+Delete 1/5
God got AIDS


Last year God answered a little boy's prayer.
He crept in on tip toes late in the middle of the night and wiped away the poor child's affliction.
But on that particular night God had been drinking and neglected his latex gloves.
It wasn't until many months later, gaunt and starting to thin, that he thought to get tested.

He knew the answer before it was spoken.
POSITIVE.

God wept, not for his own fate, but for how the news would be received. Being gay didn't make it any easier on him. He lamented the fulfillment of a stereotype and feared the truth wouldn't be believed. How would it sound to admit "I got it from a little boy on a hot, sticky African night?"

So God kept his secret quiet and prayed to us for a miracle.
But all of God's prayers, spoken through the trees and the wind, and the sun and the rain, and the moon and the mountains, went unnoticed. The digital people didn't think to listen for an old, dying, gay God.
Comic: Frank and Vinny 1/5
The Japanese Astronaut who gave his crew space crabs.


Yoshiro. Why did I have to be named Yoshi. Its the only Japanese name that Americans recognize because of some stupid 16-bit Mario Brothers cartoon dinosaur. "I've fucking heard that one before you unoriginal fucks! " Or would you rather I say, "Wow. That apt association clearly demonstrates frightening intelligence and well honed cultural acumen. Would it be too forward of me if I gave you a thousand dollars cash? I know I'll get it back one day, we're going to be life long friends ."

Yes, my name is Yoshi. I was born in Connecticut which is why you shouldn't be surprised that I don't have an accent, at least not in English. I speak 4 languages with fluency. I graduated in the top of my class at MIT. I read A Brief History of Time before you rotated your first tire. I may like sushi but that's because I know what real sushi tastes like and not by some genetic providence. By the way, the only thing that processed play dough shit you buy at the supermarket is good for is putting a smile on my face as I watch you ignorant idiots eat it and brag to your pedestrian peers that you had sushi again for lunch.

Sorry if I seem bitter. I'm orbiting the earth at 17,500 miles an hour and I have crabs.
Comic: Frank and Vinny  
I do not abuse drugs nor do I condone such surges of mankind. I am light years beyond such pitiful attempts to expand one's mind. For you see, I have already burned the five dimensions of time and space and gained infinite knowledge from THE CREATOR about the Heavens and the Stars Above. Drugs... (laughs) why would I need such foolish Earthakin things such as drugs, my lad...
Comic: Frank and Vinny  
Nothing you can do can cancel out your ignorance...
Comic: Something Positive 1/5
This comic is sucks a bag of dicks. So does the taint who created it. It is not unique whatsoever though it tries SO hard be. Probably because the turd who writes and illustrates is not original himself, just a carbon copy of greater art he or she has witness throughout his or her life. The art consists of images that are on par with clip art. The humour, sadly, matches.
Comic: Frank and Vinny 1/5
He has the mark of a certain trade or occupation that no longer exists. If junk were from the earth, there might still be junkies standing around in junk neighbourhoods feeling the lack, vague and persistent, a pale ghost of junk sickness. The effect was uncanny. You would see him one time a fresh-faced kid. A week or so later he would turn up so thin, sallow and old-looking, you would have to look twice to recognize him. His face was lined with suffering in which his eyes did not participate. It was a suffering of his cells alone. He himself - the conscious ego that looked out of the glazed, alert-calm hoodlum eyes - would have nothing to do with this suffering of his rejected other self, a suffering of the nervous system, of flesh and viscera and cells.
Comic: Happy Day Comics  
And now, an ending. Where there was once one, there are now two. Or were there always two? What is a reflection? A chance to see two? When there are chances for reflections, there can always be two or more. Only when we are everywhere will there be just one. It has been a pleasure speaking to you.
Comic: Reg & Rons animated comic  
A log is a portion of a tree. At the end of a crosscut log many of you know this there are rings. Each ring represents one year in the life of the tree. How long it takes to a grow a tree! I don't mind telling you some things. Many things I, I mustn’t say. Just notice that my fireplace is boarded up. There will never be a fire there. On the mantelpiece, in that jar, are some of the ashes of my husband. My log hears things I cannot hear. But my log tells me about the sounds, about the new words. Even though it has stopped growing larger, my log is aware.
Comic: PVP Online  
There are clues everywhere all around us. But the puzzle maker is clever. The clues, although surrounding us, are somehow mistaken for something else. And the something else the wrong interpretation of the clues we call our world. Our world is a magical smoke screen. How should we interpret the happy song of the meadowlark, or the robust flavor of a wild strawberry?
Comic: Death Piglet  
Pie. Whoever invented the pie? Here was a great person. In ____ ______, we specialize in cherry pie and huckleberry pie. We do have many other types of pie, and at the Double R Diner, Norma knows how to make them all better than anyone I have ever known. I hope Norma likes me. I know I like her and respect her. I have spit my pitch gum out of my mouth onto her walls and floors and sometimes onto her booths. Sometimes I get angry and do things I'm not proud of. I do love Norma's pies. I love pie with coffee.
Comic: Captain Snes  
The beautiful thing about treasure is that it exists. It exists to be found. How beautiful it is to find treasure. Where is the treasure, that when found, leaves one eternally happy? I think we all know it exists. Some say it is inside us inside us one and all. That would be strange. It would be so near. Then why is it so hard to find, and so difficult to attain?
Comic: Coyote Dance  
Sometimes well, let's say all times things are changing. We are judged as human beings on how we treat our fellow human beings. How do you treat your fellow human beings? At night, just before sleep, as you lay by yourself in the dark, how do you feel about yourself? Are you proud of your behavior? Are you ashamed of your behavior? You know in your heart if you have hurt someone you know. If you have hurt someone, don't wait another day before making things right. The world could break apart with sadness
in the meantime.
Comic: Too Much Information  
A hotel. A nightstand. A drawer pull on the drawer. A drawer pull of a nightstand in the room of a hotel. What could possibly be happening on or in this drawer pull? How many drawer pulls exist in this world? Thousands, maybe millions. What is a drawer pull? This drawer pull why is it featured so prominently in a life or in a death of one woman who was caught in a web of power? Can a victim of power end in any way connected
to a drawer pull? How can this be?
Comic: Bored and Evil  
A death mask. Is there a reason for a death mask? It is barely a physical resemblance in death, the muscles so relaxed, the face so without the animating spark. A death mask is almost an intrusion on a beautiful memory. And yet, who could throw away the casting
of a loved one? Who would not want to study it longingly, as the distance freight train blows its mournful tone?
Comic: Angel Ninja vs. Devil Ninja  
The heart, it is a physical organ, we all know. But how much more an emotional organ this we also know. Love, like blood, flows from the heart. Are blood and love related? Does a heart pump blood as it pumps love? Is love the blood of the universe?
Comic: Digger  
My husband died in a fire. No one can know my sorrow. My love is gone. Yet, I feel him near me. Sometimes I can almost see him. At night when the wind blows, I think of what he might have been. Again I wonder: why? When I see a fire, I feel my anger rising. This was not a friendly fire. This was not a forest fire. It was a fire in the woods. This is all I am permitted to say.
Comic: Ninja Spirit  
Is life like a game of chess? Are our present moves important for future success? I think so. We paint our future with every present brush stroke. "Painting. Colors. Shapes. Textures. Composition. Repetition of shapes. Contrast. Let nature guide us. Nature is the great teacher. Who is the principal? Sometimes jokes are welcome. Like the one about the kid who said: 'I enjoyed school. It was just the principal of the thing.'
Comic: Something Like Life...  
Complications set in yes, complications. How many times have we heard: 'it's simple'. Nothing is simple. We live in a world where nothing is simple. Each day, just when we think we have a handle on things, suddenly some new element is introduced and everything is complicated once again. "What is the secret? What is the secret to simplicity, to the pure and simple life? Are our appetites, our desires undermining us? Is the cart in front of the horse?"
Comic: +1 Comics  
Food is interesting. For instance, why do we need to eat? Why are we never satisfied with just the right amount of food to maintain good health and proper energy? We always seem to want more and more. When eating too much, the proper balance is disturbed and ill health follows. Of course, eating too little food throws the balance off in the opposite direction and there is the ill health coming at us again. Balance is the key. Balance is the key to many things. Do we understand balance? The word 'balance' has seven letters. Seven is difficult to balance, but not impossible if we are able to divide. There are, of course, the pros and cons of division.
Comic: Faux Pas  
A poem as lovely as a tree: As the night wind blows, the boughs move to and fro. The rustling, the magic rustling that brings on the dark dream. The dream of suffering and pain. Pain for the victim, pain for the inflictor of pain. A circle of pain, a circle of suffering. Woe to the ones who behold the pale horse.
Comic: !Killer Komics!  
Sometimes we want to hide from ourselves we do not want to be us it is too difficult to be us. It is at these times that we turn to drugs or alcohol or behavior to help us forget that we are ourselves. This of course is only a temporary solution to a problem which is going to keep returning, and sometimes these temporary solutions are worse for us than the original problem. Yes, it is a dilemma. Is there an answer? Of course there is: as a wise person said with a smile: 'The answer is within the question.'
Comic: Bob and George  
Sometimes nature plays tricks on us and we imagine we are something other than what we truly are. Is this a key to life in general? Or the case of the two-headed schizophrenic? Both heads thought the other was following itself. Finally, when one head wasn't looking, the other shot the other right between the eyes, and, of course, killed himself.
Comic: Ugly Hill  
Miscommunication sometimes leads to arguments, and arugments sometimes lead to fights. Anger is usually present in arguments and fights. Anger is an emotion, usually classified as a negative emotion. Negative emotions can cause severe problems in our
environment and to the health of our body. Happiness, usually classified as a positive emotion, can bring good health to our body, and spread positive vibrations into our
environment. Sometimes when we are ill, we are not on our best behavior. By ill, I mean any of the following: physically ill, emotionally ill, mentally ill, and/or spiritually ill.
Comic: 3 Guys With No Lives  
Letters are symbols. They are building blocks of words which form our languages. Languages help us communicate. Even with complicated languages used by intelligent people, misunderstanding is a common occurrence. We write things down sometimes letters, words hoping they will serve us and those with whom we wish to communicate. Letters and words, calling out for understanding.
Comic: Starslip  
Hello again. Can you see through a wall? Can you see through human skin? X-rays see through solid, or so-called solid objects. There are things in life that exist, and yet our eyes cannot see them. Have you ever seen something startling that others cannot see? Why are some things kept from our vision? Is life a puzzle? I am filled with questions. Sometimes my questions are answered. In my heart, I can tell if the answer is correct. I am my own judge. In a dream, are all the characters really you? Different aspects of you? Do answers come in dreams? One more thing, I grew up in the woods. I understand many things because of the woods. Trees standing together, growing alongside one another, providing so much. I chew pitch gum. On the outside, let’s say, of the ponderosa pine, sometimes pitch oozes out. Runny pitch is no good to chew. Hard brittle pitch is no good. But in between these, exists a firm, slightly crusted pitch, with such a flavor. This is the pitch I chew.
Comic: F.A.R.T.S.  
A drunken man walks in a way that is quite impossible for a sober man to imitate, and vice versa. An evil man has a way, no matter how clever, to the trained eye, his way will show itself. Am I being too secretive? No. One can never answer questions at the wrong moment. Life, like music, has a rhythm. This particular song will end with three sharp sounds. Like deathly drumbeats.
Comic: Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal  
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Yet, there are those who open many eyes. “Eyes are the mirror of the soul,” someone has said. So we look closely at the eyes to see the nature of the soul. Sometimes when we see the eyes, those horrible times we see the eyes, eyes that… …that have no soul, then we know a darkness. Then we wonder, “Where is the beauty.” There is none, if the eyes are soulless…
Comic: +EV  
I play my part on life’s stage. I tell what I can to form the perfect answer. But that answer cannot come before all are ready to hear. So I tell what I can to form the perfect answer. Sometimes, my anger at the fire is evident. Sometimes it is not anger, really. It may appear as such, but could it be a clue? The fire I speak of is not a kind fire.
Comic: Earthsong  
Even the ones who laugh are sometimes caught without an answer. These creatures who introduce themselves, but we swear we have met them somewhere before. Yes? Look in the mirror. What do you see? Is it a dream or a nightmare? Are we being introduced against are will? Are they mirrors? I can see the smoke. I can smell the fire. The battle is drawing nigh.
Comic: 8-bit Theatre  
There is a sadness in this world, for we are ignorant of many things. Yes. We are ignorant of many beautiful things. Things like the truth. So sadness, in our ignorance, is very real. The tears are real. What is this thing called a tear? There are even tiny ducts, tear ducts, to produce these tears, should the sadness occur. Then the day when the sadness comes, then we ask: “Will the sadness, which makes me cry, will this sadness that makes me cry my heart out, will it ever end?” The answer, of course, is yes. One day the sadness will end.
Comic: Dueling Analogs  
Sometimes ideas, like men, jump up and say, “Hello.” They introduce themselves, these ideas, with words. Are they words? These ideas speak so strangely. All that we see in this world is based on someone’s ideas. Some ideas are destructive, some are constructive. Some ideas can arrive in the form of a dream. I can say it again: Some ideas arrive in the form of a dream.
Comic: Penny Arcade  
I carry a log, yes. Is it funny to you? It is not, to me. Behind all things are reasons. Reasons can even explain the absurd. Do we have the time to learn the reasons behind the human beings’ varied behavior? I think not. Some take the time. Are they called detectives? Watch and see what life teaches.
Comic: VG Cats  
Welcome to ____ _____. My name is Margaret Lanterman. I live in____ _____. I am known as The ___ ____. There is a story behind that. There are many stories in____ _____. Some of them are sad, some of them funny. Some are stories of madness, of violence. Some are ordinary, yet they all have about them a sense of mystery. The mystery of life. Sometimes, the mystery of death. The mystery of the woods, the woods surrounding ____ _____. To introduce this story, let me just say it encompasses the all.
It is beyond the fire, though few would know that meaning. It is a story of many, but it begins with one. And I knew her. The one leading to the many is _____ ______. _____ is the one.
Comic: Ctrl+Alt+Delete 1/5
As above, so below. The human being finds himself, or herself, in the middle. There is as much space outside the human, proportionately, as inside. Stars, moons, and planet remind us of protons, neutrons, and electrons. Is there a bigger being walking with all the stars within? Does our thinking affect what goes on outside us, and what goes on inside us? I think it does. Where does creamed corn figure into the workings of the universe? What really is creamed corn? Is it a symbol for something else?
Comic: Green Dog Cafe 1/5
Is a dog man's best friend? I had a dog. The dog was large. It ate my garden, all the plants, and much earth. The dog ate so much earth it died. Its body went back to the earth. I have a memory of this dog. The memory is all that I have left of my dog. He was black and white.

 
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