You've certainly found a good artist there. Good job.
I think with a few tweaks, you can make this Kickstarter pitch really shine. You've got a really strong lead-in line and a great first paragraph. And it's good you've laid out a cost breakdown. To make it even better, I'd suggest:
Proofreading. It doesn't quite scan properly, there are a few bits where the syntax sounds a touch off. Do you mind if I ask if English is your first language?
An image showing the cost breakdown in table format. Three columns: what the expense is, how it's calculated, and how much it is. Eg, Artist, $35 per page x 32 pages, $1,120. Or Printing of 25 copies, quote from supplier, $78. And so on. Then have it all added up at the end. Don't rely on guesses, by the way, or vague implications. Say how much Kickstarter charges and how much you'd pay in taxes to the closest estimate you can find.
Rewards. At the moment they seem kinda tame. Reading scripts, getting the comic in digital or physical form. Can you be a bit more inventive with them? People might not just be after the comic, they might want additional stuff that they would only be able to get through the kickstarter. At the same time, things like reading scripts isn't a massive draw - especially for people who don't want to spoil the story for themselves before they've read the comic in its final form. If I was running this Kickstarter, I'd put rewards like this:
$1. One of three 100x100 pixel avatar pictures of Garrett. (Get your artist to draw them, three different expressions. Don't forget to include the expense of these in your price breakdown.) Also your name on the "Backers" page on the website.
$5. The $1 rewards, plus an advanced look at the first 5 pages before they go up online
$10. The $5 rewards plus a digital copy of the complete first issue on the date the first page goes up online.
(Note: I moved the digital copy to $10 because I think you'd get more people going for it. People like lots of levels in Kickstarter rewards, and $10 is already more than they'd usually pay for a digital copy of a comic in places like Comixology. Especially since it's not in colour.)
$20. The $10 rewards plus the script for the first issue and two additional character sketches, all in digital format.
(This gives you a way of using your scripts in the rewards without spoiling the story or giving people something they have no guaruntee yet of seeing in comic pages.)
$40. The $20 rewards plus a postcard set of the main characters. Please add $X for postage outside the USA.
(Get a set of 5 postcards created of main characters on the glossy side and basic character stats, like height, weight, eye colour and superpower, plus a paragraph profile, on the back. Leave off printing til you know how many you'll need, after the Kickstarter has finished, so you don't waste money. But get quotes in advance and include an estimate in the price breakdown. The additional postage request reduces your expenses in case you get an unexpected level of support from New Zealand or Germany or something. Get a quote from a postage company for postage to the ten most likely countries you think people might back you from, and average that, then round it up to the next $0.10.)
$50. The $40 rewards plus one of ten printed copies of the first issue. Add $X for postage outside the USA.
$75. The $40 rewards plus one of three packs containing the first issue and a character index booklet called The Frost Files. Add $X for postage outside the USA.
(I moved this down from $100 because (1) I don't know how you can determine which is the "first" printed copy when you'll just get a box of 25 and (2) it might take a lot of convincing to make someone think the Frost Files is worth $50. So use two extra copies of both the issue and the Frost Files to get more people interested in this higher level.)
How does that sound?