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Choking Hazards: Give Me Your Eyes

 
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TheUndeadMantis



Joined: 27 Apr 2014
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 4:38 pm    Post subject: Choking Hazards: Give Me Your Eyes Reply with quote

Hello friends.

Now, I say we are "friends" because I've gazed deep into my crystal ball, which I keep jammed into this upturned, giant ethernet port and doubles as my Internet browser, and foresaw the wonderful times that you and I will share.

Where will we share them, you ask? Well, here of course, and also over at my new wobcomik, Choking Hazards.

Now, you're probably sitting in the Starbucks screaming "What? What the hell is this? Jam beasts? Satan? Some sort of... demon rabbit? What is this about, even?" Well, you've sort of answered the last question yourself, amazingly enough. Keep it down, though, I don't think that barista wants your number now. Or maybe she wants it even more, in which case, that might be a red flag.

Elaborate? Ah, I can't say no to that face. That is your face, right? Oh, it... oh.

Well, Choking Hazards follows the lives of two guys living together in the small town of Coma Valley. One recently perished, but having struck a scrupulous deal with a very shady patron, he returned to life, but with a new responsibility on his hands. His roommate barely cares, since he recently took a step forward in his life's aspiration: to be the greatest culinary mastermind in all the realms. His path to glory will be paved in blood and indigestion.

I know the web design is crap right now but there is good reason for that: all my website design experts died in mysterious accidents that I had absolutely nothing to do with. Ask the judge! Ah, no. No wait. He seems to have suffered a massive heart attack. The prosecutor? I think he went on vacation in North Korea. Look, it's being worked on as we speak, but that's been taking a back seat to my main goal right now:

Bringing you undiluted madness, three times a week! "Which days," you groan? Usually I end up posting the comic on the morning of Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I'm trying ever so hard to have them up by midnight of those days but global warming, you know?

Please, toss your eyeballs over to my comic, then spew forth your opinions, comments, suggestions, dark confessions, workout routine, shoe size, and/or shampoo choice, either here in this thread, or on the comments of the comic itself! I strive to produce the highest quality wacky hijinks and your feedback helps!

My gratitude appendage extends upon to you!
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MindChimera



Joined: 03 Feb 2013
Posts: 317

PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 3:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Welcome to the forums.

The artwork isn't really my thing, a bit too stiff for my tastes. But I've seen a number of comics with sort of similar art styles that are also boring, and your panels are varied and interesting. Good work.

Your expressions are a bit static though. If you're interested in livening them up, I'd suggest looking over this and this. That should hopefully give you an idea of what you can practice.

Really enjoying your sense of humor, looking forward to more. As for the website, I like it so far.

I listed you on Comic Rocket by the way, since that's what I use to read most of my webcomics. If you haven't heard of it, it's another comic listing site that makes it really easy to keep up with comics. If you want, you can claim your comic and get statistics on how many people use it. Claming also lets you set up a banner.
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TheUndeadMantis



Joined: 27 Apr 2014
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 5:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In other news, I've updated the site design just a tad, with new background and new header logo. More mangling to follow.

Thank you Chimera of the Mind, your links regarding human and feline expression was most insightful. I will devour these faces and attempt to regurgitate it into my own work.

Can you clarify what you mean by "stiff" in regards to art? The line work? The posing? I sort of understand what you mean but elaboration would be delicious.
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Holijay



Joined: 10 May 2014
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Sat May 10, 2014 8:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your posing is pretty stiff. I like the detail in your artwork and it has a fairly enjoyable style that ever so slightly reminded me of Invader Zim (which is a good thing).

However, type in Johnny the Homicidal Maniac into google images and you will immediately see how much more dynamic and expressive the overall body poses are compared to your work.

You have talent, your artwork is good, but you are lacking dynamic poses in most of your panels. Work on this, and it will add way more life to your characters.

I liked most of your jokes, and the story progression through gag strips works great for me. Sadly it's almost 2am where I live so I won't elaborate further.

Hope those comments help. Keep pushing forward!
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MindChimera



Joined: 03 Feb 2013
Posts: 317

PostPosted: Sat May 10, 2014 9:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with Holijay.

By stiffness, I'm talking about the posing. Imo, stiffness usually comes down to lack of variations of the neck and shoulders. Your shoulders and neck tend to fall back to the same default pose, even if the forearms have moved.

When someone lifts up their hand, have their shoulders reflect that somehow, if only a little. Try more varied posing. Even in normal conversation, people don't always stand straight.

On this page, he has a slight slouch, and I think if you'd exaggerated that more it would have been better. (I've been drawing similar poses lately if you want an example.)

Something that helps me with posing is doing lots of quick sketches. You don't have to get each one perfect, don't even worry about erasing, just practice quick and try again until you get something you like.
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