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Cartridge - Now available in comic book form!
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Zaron



Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Posts: 946

PostPosted: Mon May 18, 2009 1:11 am    Post subject: Cartridge - Now available in comic book form! Reply with quote

So I'm finally making my first thread to plug my shit since I relaunched my old comic over a year ago. Here goes.

A lot of you probably remember my old project Cartridge Comics. Well, I'm going to ask that you forget what you know about that comic. Cartridge uses the same characters as CC, but it's completely different in format and tone. Cartridge is an action/comedy comic about Evan, Milton, and Jerry, three nerds who have found themselves battling a demon capable of bringing to life the obsession of whoever he possesses. Currently we're in the middle of chapter two, which is doing a lot to explain how this all came to be, so don't worry if a lot of the story doesn't quite make sense yet. All will be explained in time.

There's humor in Cartridge, but it's not really done in the punchline format of a gag strip. The focus is much more on the story now, and Lex and I love it this way. We're having a lot more fun writing a story than we ever did writing jokes. I'm sure when the current story is finished we'll do some more lighthearted strips, but for now we're loving the story format.

Anyway, we hope you enjoy it, because we've been working our asses off at improving (we still are, actually) and we're really enjoying watching ourselves improve.

http://www.cartridgecomics.com
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Last edited by Zaron on Sun Sep 13, 2009 7:16 am; edited 5 times in total
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dpat57
Ich bin ein webcomicker


Joined: 11 Aug 2008
Posts: 2613
Location: Sunny/wet/windy Scotland

PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2009 4:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had to go back to the start to get a handle on all this -- and I'm glad I did. It's fun, with a pay-off punchline on just about every page. Art's deceptively simple, with special FX added when needed. Thumbs up. I'll come back to it.
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Zaron



Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Posts: 946

PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2009 11:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the kind words, man. Yeah, it's going to take going all the way back to the beginning to understand even a little of what's going on in the story, and even then I wouldn't blame you for still being a little confused. By the end of chapter two things should be a lot less confusing, but all the secrets won't be out until the end of chapter three.
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Zaron



Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Posts: 946

PostPosted: Fri May 22, 2009 12:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's it? I would think with all the commotion I've caused in these forums over the years I'd have gotten a much bigger reaction.

Well, while I'm posting, I guess I'll mention my involvement in WAGON webcomic battle, which was awesome.


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Zaron



Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Posts: 946

PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2009 3:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

New page for you guys to check out.

Also I just realized I forgot to link my Twitter page. Best place to be reminded of updates, contact me, or just to hear me ramble.

Also I'm not letting this thread die till I get some more reactions. Come on, people!
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Zaron



Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Posts: 946

PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2009 12:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote



Been trying to get more flow of action into my drawings. It's my weakest point, and man it's been tough trying to improve it.
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dpat57
Ich bin ein webcomicker


Joined: 11 Aug 2008
Posts: 2613
Location: Sunny/wet/windy Scotland

PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2009 2:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

From the looks of things, it's not your weakest point any more. The off-balance angles and esp. the hand perspective in the left panel give impression of rapid action-movement.

I know the "no love" feeling only too well. Smile Hopefully other readers will be along soon.
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Zoe Robinson
Resident Diet Lawyer


Joined: 02 Jul 2007
Posts: 1867
Location: Manchester, UK

PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2009 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zaron wrote:
Been trying to get more flow of action into my drawings. It's my weakest point, and man it's been tough trying to improve it.


It may have been tough but I'd say your efforts to improve have worked. You've got an excellent eye for action poses now, so don't worry about it too much.

I love your use of texture in this comic and on the first page in your archive (the worn book effect is something I can't help but love wherever I see it). Your art in general is brilliant. I'm not entirely taken with the storyline but I think that's more down to personal preferences than your actual writing, which is good. You've got an excellent ear for dialogue and the story just flows so well.
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xcentrikz



Joined: 01 May 2009
Posts: 153
Location: United States

PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2009 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hey, you better continue working your butt off because it looks like you're having a lot of fun! don't stop anytime soon, okay? Wink your work looks great. Really nice action and dimension to the illustrations and I like the story concepts. have fun Smile
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Chipshop



Joined: 10 May 2006
Posts: 272
Location: England.

PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2009 3:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been practicing my drawing skills too while being on hiatus and something I've found that helps is what you've done in your last post. During or at the end of the penciling stage take a long look at each panel on its own so you're focusing on it as a single picture. The second one has him holding the phone handset and he could be:

A: Yanking it off the box.
B: Midway through slamming it back down on the box.
or
C: Just holding it up so Chuck Berry can hear that new sound he's been looking for.

A couple of swishy directional action lines on the phone cord and handset would set this action straight. I'm guessing he's going to call for help so the unseen dialogue or preceding panels will make it clear.

That was too many words for phone cord action lines but it goddamnit they need love too.
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Zaron



Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Posts: 946

PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2009 10:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Woohoo! Coments! And useful criticism, too! This is great! Zoe, I can't say I blame you for not being into the story. Even if this concept was your kind of thing, the current arc is three chapters long and people won't really get a true feel for where we're going with this comic until we're well into chapter three. I seem to have confused a lot of readers by having chapter one be about zombies and then abruptly change to a flashback to Jerry's younger days in chapter two. To be honest, the flashback is more about getting Jerry's past out into the open to the readers than it is about explaining the demon's presence. Back in the previous version of the comic, we only hinted at Jerry's past, and even then made jabs that those memories were possibly side-effects of his many years of drug addiction. Now that I've gotten some useful criticism out of this thread I'll stop bumping it, but when I'm done with chapter three I'll bring this thread back to life and see if it gets a more positive reaction from people not enjoying it currently.

I guess what we're trying to do, story-wise, is appeal to the geeky comic readers who love their nerd and pop culture comics, and give them something very different from the comics currently shooting for that crowd. Right now most comics aiming at that crowd are doing parodies and references, and the vast majority of them are gag comics. We sort of felt that by having a story-based comic about nerdy guys hunted by a demon who has the power to blur the line between fantasy and reality, we might find our niche. It allows us to throw some references and parodies in there, (Zombie Emo-Spider managed to be both at once) but all it's a comic with a plot of its own that doesn't really depend on getting the pop culture references to make sense.

Mattsand wrote:
I've been practicing my drawing skills too while being on hiatus and something I've found that helps is what you've done in your last post. During or at the end of the penciling stage take a long look at each panel on its own so you're focusing on it as a single picture. The second one has him holding the phone handset and he could be:

A: Yanking it off the box.
B: Midway through slamming it back down on the box.
or
C: Just holding it up so Chuck Berry can hear that new sound he's been looking for.

A couple of swishy directional action lines on the phone cord and handset would set this action straight. I'm guessing he's going to call for help so the unseen dialogue or preceding panels will make it clear.

That was too many words for phone cord action lines but it goddamnit they need love too.


Haha, nice reference in C. Wink Yeah. I actually did consider using a motion line in that panel for that exact reason. I've experimented with them a couple of times, but I've never really felt they looked right when I used them, but I still don't think it looks right without them. I'm thinking I may actually need to study motion lines and how to use them properly. (If I had to pick which of those motion lines I linked I liked better, I'd go with the first one.)

I actually draw each panel on a separate sheet of paper, but more because I usually draw two or three versions of each panel before I decide which one to use.

I may add a motion line to that panel, though, since that particular page is still unfinished.
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Zaron



Joined: 30 Apr 2006
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PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2009 12:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



This any better?
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Zoe Robinson
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Joined: 02 Jul 2007
Posts: 1867
Location: Manchester, UK

PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2009 12:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It may work better if the line is more transparent. I don't like to be all negative but when I looked at it, my first reaction was "the receiver has chewing gum stuck to it". I think that's only because the line is so white, however. Making it less opaque would probably help.
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Zaron



Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Posts: 946

PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2009 1:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm, I tried making it more transparent like you suggested, but it really didn't do much to shake that appearance of being something stuck to the receiver. I tried nudging it away from the receiver a bit (which was pretty easy since I drew it on a separate layer) and that seems to do it. What do you think?


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Zoe Robinson
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PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2009 1:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, that works. Smile
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