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NFU: The Josh Neilson Story - Critique
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Do you like Flipside University?
Yes lololol!
100%
 100%  [ 3 ]
No! Boo.
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Undecided.
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 3

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FlapjackStudios



Joined: 01 Jul 2013
Posts: 126

PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:40 pm    Post subject: NFU: The Josh Neilson Story - Critique Reply with quote



NFU Synopsis:

A dysfunctional family, a hopeless situation, and young man's passion to persevere against all odds. This is the story of Josh Neilson, a boy destined to be the greatest artist of all time. But there's just one other problem I forgot to mention...

NFU #00 - Meet Josh Neilson


About me and NFU:

My name's Ryan and write and draw a cool webcomic called Flipside U. I've been drawing since I was a wee lad but got serious about a couple of years ago when I majored in film and animation.

Long story short, I would love it if you gave your thoughts on my work. What are your opinions on my comic? Do you like the style, is it funny, which character do you like or dislike, can you relate to it, who's sexy? Those sorts of things.

I realize art is subjective, that being the case I really hope you dig my art. Haha. ^_^ And that's it! I'm totally open to suggestions and feedback! Please review Flipside U!

Here's the link to my archive: http://flapjackstudios.com/fuarchive.shtml
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Last edited by FlapjackStudios on Sat Feb 15, 2014 4:08 am; edited 4 times in total
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FlapjackStudios



Joined: 01 Jul 2013
Posts: 126

PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 6:34 am    Post subject: Re: Please Review my comic, Flipside U! Reply with quote

Kail wrote:
FlapjackStudios wrote:

Long story short, I would love it if you gave your thoughts on my work. What are your opinions on my comic? Do you like the style, is it funny, which character do you like or dislike, can you relate to it, who's sexy? Those sorts of things.


Anyway, just my 2 cents, feel free to disregard as you see fit. Generally, I thought the comic was really solidly drawn and had a nice consistent look. It was a pleasure to read, keep up the good work!


Hey Kail! That is a serious in depth review and I super appreciate the feedback! I'll admit I didn't see some of those inconsistencies there in my comic. I plan on tightening up my writing and developing the characters more so readers can easily understand and relate to them. I hope you continue reading and thanks again for the review!

Also, mad props for picking a few faves too.
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FlapjackStudios



Joined: 01 Jul 2013
Posts: 126

PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 4:29 am    Post subject: RESTRUCTURE COMING SOON Reply with quote

Any other takers?

Also, a bit of news. I'm going to restructure my comic soon. Not starting over from stretch per say but ppl who've read it before will be in for a major overhauled treat. I'll give you guys more info when nearing the relaunch.

That said anyone interested in seeing it now, head on over to my archive and tell me what you think.
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FlapjackStudios



Joined: 01 Jul 2013
Posts: 126

PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 5:50 am    Post subject: NFU launching Jan 8th! Reply with quote

UPDATE: Flapjack Studios would like to announce the Flipside U relaunch date. And that date is Jan. 8th 2014! Flipside U is my online webcomic and it is getting overhauled and refitted to be a story driven awesome sauce of a comic! You don't wanna miss this transformation, especially if you've read my comic before!

News Link --> http://flapjackstudios.com/news40.shtml
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FlapjackStudios



Joined: 01 Jul 2013
Posts: 126

PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 6:24 pm    Post subject: The NFU reboot has officially begun! Reply with quote

The Flipside U reboot has begun! Introducing "New Flipside U: The Josh Neilson Story!" Or "NFU" for short. Page one of the prologue is now up. Updates happen every Wednesdays. http://flapjackstudios.com/nfu00.shtml


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FlapjackStudios



Joined: 01 Jul 2013
Posts: 126

PostPosted: Thu Jan 23, 2014 6:42 am    Post subject: NFU reboot and request for reviews Reply with quote

Hey great ppl of TWCL! I'd really appreciate another review or two! I just rebooted my comic and am really proud of it. I highly recommend you give it a read, especially if you like flawed but loveable characters.

Updates happen every Wednesdays.

Page 01 --> Warning! Contains Suggestive Themes. http://flapjackstudios.com/nfu01.shtml


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FlapjackStudios



Joined: 01 Jul 2013
Posts: 126

PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 4:42 pm    Post subject: Like it or what? Reply with quote

Hey all you comic enthusiasts. I'm about a year in but have just rebooted my comic so really, it's only a month or so worth of new story. My art is professional and I'm very happy with the story. Why not give it a try to see if it suits your tastes? It's called NFU: The Josh Neilson Story (or NFU for short).

http://flapjackstudios.com/nfu00.shtml
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MindChimera



Joined: 03 Feb 2013
Posts: 317

PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 7:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Can't really review the story since it's only a few strips. I do like the jokes more than what you were doing before.

The art has gotten a nice upgrade. It seems like you're making more of an effort to show more sides of the characters (instead of just cosntant front-view), which I appreciate.

Do you update once a week? Since you're doing strips, you may want to bump it up, if you have the time and buffer for it.
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FlapjackStudios



Joined: 01 Jul 2013
Posts: 126

PostPosted: Mon Feb 10, 2014 12:34 am    Post subject: Thanks! Reply with quote

MindChimera wrote:
Can't really review the story since it's only a few strips. I do like the jokes more than what you were doing before.

The art has gotten a nice upgrade. It seems like you're making more of an effort to show more sides of the characters (instead of just cosntant front-view), which I appreciate.

Do you update once a week? Since you're doing strips, you may want to bump it up, if you have the time and buffer for it.


Why thank you! Yes it's early in the story but it'll build! Once a week is my current max output, if I could release them all today I would. Haha.

Just you wait, it gets even more funny! I hope you look forward to them. Thanks again for your comment.
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FlapjackStudios



Joined: 01 Jul 2013
Posts: 126

PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 4:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Updated NFU Synopsis:

A dysfunctional family, a hopeless situation, and young man's passion to persevere against all odds. This is the story of Josh Neilson, a boy destined to be the greatest artist of all time. But there's just one other problem I forgot to mention...

NFU #00 - Meet Josh Neilson

(c) 2014 Ryan Chandler
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FlapjackStudios



Joined: 01 Jul 2013
Posts: 126

PostPosted: Tue May 06, 2014 2:49 pm    Post subject: NFU Review Reply with quote

Anymore takers? I plan on going pro with NFU: The Josh Neilson Story and have a fair numbers of pages now. If stories about perseverance, tough times, and dysfunctional families sound like your cup of tea, then why not check them out and drop me a review? Don't forget, it's funny too. Please review!
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MindChimera



Joined: 03 Feb 2013
Posts: 317

PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 1:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Still not very far along... I really prefer to see something develop in the plot before giving any sort of review. But you're still floundering around in his childhood stories months later.

I guess I'll go ahead and give your story a review, though, because there are things that stick out to me.

As far as Josh goes, I really have no reason to care about him yet. All I know is that he has lousy parents (which, for some reason, hasn't rubbed off on him) and he wants to be an artist. Is that all his character is? Where is the rest of his personality?

I think starting off with his backstory may have been a wrong move. You're trying to fill in little details on a character that I don't even see the big details for yet. You need to convince your audience that this kid is worth caring about; your audience is not obligated to like the protagonist. Keep in mind that reading your work is a time-investment on their part as well, and they're not obligated to keep going if they aren't interested.

Right now, Josh is incredibly bland. I would be more interested in seeing this school he's so excited to get to and seeing more on what he's like at this point in his life. Save the backstory for later, once your readers have had enough time to decide they like him.

If you want to "go pro," you really need to increase your update schedule. Your story's dreadfully slow, especially with only 3-ish panels per strip. If you can't do at least two, I'd re-evaluate your "going pro" plan. Your update speed is really killing this for you. See if you can make some changes to what you're already doing.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "going pro," actually. Are you trying to make a living off of this, or just want to be popular?

My last thought is, a lot of webcomic strips out there that are about college include at least one art-focused character (or at least ones that I've seen). I'll admit that I'm personally tired of this so my own bias is showing, but as far as the story goes, I'm wondering just what's supposed to make this comic stand out. Your jokes are okay, but since they're rooted in a stand-still story, they aren't really memorable right now.

I don't think your comic is bad, but it's easily forgettable right now and doesn't really grab my attention. There are a lot of other comics in your genre; a lot of people who make webcomics are in high school or college and, surprise surprise, a lot of them are artists so want to include artist characters. People write what they know and what's important to them. I'm not saying that's bad, I'm in a crowded genre too... just that it's harder to stand out. If you want to succeed, find your niche.

TL;DR: Figure out how to make your story pop and increase the pace.
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FlapjackStudios



Joined: 01 Jul 2013
Posts: 126

PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 5:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MindChimera wrote:
Still not very far along... I really prefer to see something develop in the plot before giving any sort of review. But you're still floundering around in his childhood stories months later.

I guess I'll go ahead and give your story a review, though, because there are things that stick out to me.

As far as Josh goes, I really have no reason to care about him yet. All I know is that he has lousy parents (which, for some reason, hasn't rubbed off on him) and he wants to be an artist. Is that all his character is? Where is the rest of his personality?

I think starting off with his backstory may have been a wrong move. You're trying to fill in little details on a character that I don't even see the big details for yet. You need to convince your audience that this kid is worth caring about; your audience is not obligated to like the protagonist. Keep in mind that reading your work is a time-investment on their part as well, and they're not obligated to keep going if they aren't interested.

Right now, Josh is incredibly bland. I would be more interested in seeing this school he's so excited to get to and seeing more on what he's like at this point in his life. Save the backstory for later, once your readers have had enough time to decide they like him.

If you want to "go pro," you really need to increase your update schedule. Your story's dreadfully slow, especially with only 3-ish panels per strip. If you can't do at least two, I'd re-evaluate your "going pro" plan. Your update speed is really killing this for you. See if you can make some changes to what you're already doing.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "going pro," actually. Are you trying to make a living off of this, or just want to be popular?

My last thought is, a lot of webcomic strips out there that are about college include at least one art-focused character (or at least ones that I've seen). I'll admit that I'm personally tired of this so my own bias is showing, but as far as the story goes, I'm wondering just what's supposed to make this comic stand out. Your jokes are okay, but since they're rooted in a stand-still story, they aren't really memorable right now.

I don't think your comic is bad, but it's easily forgettable right now and doesn't really grab my attention. There are a lot of other comics in your genre; a lot of people who make webcomics are in high school or college and, surprise surprise, a lot of them are artists so want to include artist characters. People write what they know and what's important to them. I'm not saying that's bad, I'm in a crowded genre too... just that it's harder to stand out. If you want to succeed, find your niche.

TL;DR: Figure out how to make your story pop and increase the pace.


Thanks for the review! I'm glad ppl are still active on here.

Your review of NFU thus far was really helpful. I'll take what you mentioned into consideration. (Edited)

Please feel free to drop another updated opinion in the future!
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Ronin Glen



Joined: 25 Mar 2013
Posts: 32

PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 5:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I'll take what you mentioned into consideration. However, I intend to stay true to the original story I've created and will see the prologue through in the manner I have been.


Just out of curiosity, why ask for a review if you're going to ignore whatever was said?



Quote:
Please feel free to drop another updated opinion in the future!


So you can completely ignore that one too?

I apologize, I know that comes off as snarky and offensive and believe it or not I really am not trying to pick a fight. I frequently ignore other peoples' advice as well but that's why I never ask for it Smile It just strikes me as a touch rude to ask repeatedly for commentary then dismiss it publicly. It implies all you really want is to have your ego propped up.

Again, sorry for seeming snarky. Best wishes.
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FlapjackStudios



Joined: 01 Jul 2013
Posts: 126

PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 6:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ronin Glen wrote:
Quote:
I'll take what you mentioned into consideration.


Just out of curiosity, why ask for a review if you're going to ignore whatever was said?



Quote:
Please feel free to drop another updated opinion in the future!


So you can completely ignore that one too?

I apologize, I know that comes off as snarky and offensive and believe it or not I really am not trying to pick a fight. I frequently ignore other peoples' advice as well but that's why I never ask for it Smile It just strikes me as a touch rude to ask repeatedly for commentary then dismiss it publicly. It implies all you really want is to have your ego propped up.

Again, sorry for seeming snarky. Best wishes.


Dude, the info provided is valuable. Taking into consideration means just that, to me anyways. Just saying it won't effect the story I've already created and my update schedule. I suppose that could come off as sarcastic but it wasn't. Probably that "however" word I threw in there. That's just a snarky word in general.
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