to read Innocence by Frank T. Allen and Nick Wright.
'Innocence': A weary detective recounts his horrific experiences from many years on the police force. In this harrowing tale, we see one man's struggle to find some sense of meaning and worth in the work he has done. Does any of it really matter? Does anyone even care? Clear black and white morality is not something that can be related to anymore.
He doesn't expect you to understand.