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Foul Language and Poop Jokes

 
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DoctorStevehatten



Joined: 29 Nov 2012
Posts: 37

PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 5:41 am    Post subject: Foul Language and Poop Jokes Reply with quote



ARGUMENTCOMICS.

Some people think it's funny.
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DoctorStevehatten



Joined: 29 Nov 2012
Posts: 37

PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 8:41 pm    Post subject: (shhhh....) Reply with quote

It updates on Fridays.

(TODAY IS FRIDAY)
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DoctorStevehatten



Joined: 29 Nov 2012
Posts: 37

PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 6:31 pm    Post subject: Shh... Reply with quote

There, there, now.
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antleonardi01



Joined: 05 Feb 2012
Posts: 128

PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The thing that immediately jumps out at me is how THICK your ink lines are. Your comic would benefit greatly from thinning them out and making more confident (less shaky) strokes.

Going to comment on this strip particularly because I feel that it has a TON of untapped potential.



The punchline, right now doesn't make a whole lot of sense. What if you did this:

Keep all the "xxxx person is fucking dead" frames.

Replace the last frame with the joker laughing like a madman looking at batman, and have batman say "I WISHHHH he was dead.)

That would be pretty good in my opinion.

You have an amazing start. Your art is pretty decent. Switch up some of the punchlines and this is something I would consider reading every friday. Keep it up dude. (sorry if any of that comes off harsh. I'm seriously trying to help.)
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DoctorStevehatten



Joined: 29 Nov 2012
Posts: 37

PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 6:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, that's not really my style. Thanks for the FEEDBACK though!

I think the actual revised punchline should be Alfred standing by himself looking even sadder than in panel 5, saying "everyone is fucking dead." The panel would be full-size across the bottom to emphasize Alfred in his lonliness.

Also, I just really wanted to have Alfred use gangster slang, and to use the phrase "cat-pussy," for some reason.
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DoctorStevehatten



Joined: 29 Nov 2012
Posts: 37

PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 6:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In response to the other aspect of your comment, I actually have always drawn digitally with fast, sketchy lines. It's something I'm slowing bringing to a minimum, but it's hard to untrain your wrist from years of working on a 6-inch baby wacom tablet (I JUST upgraded to a large INTUOS).

But yeah, I know what you're talking about, and am working on it!
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