TWCL

[Phildowne]

On the way home today I thought up this amazing rant that I wanted to go on. And what better place than the Interwebs. Not surprising I forgot it because I was too smart to write it down when I got home. I think it had something to do with women, or work, or money, or people in general, I don't *beep* remember. But it was good, maybe Earth shattering.

So in place of a potentially smarter rant I offer up some of my observations, over the past few months, of what I've found when trying to make plans with people. Perhaps a few of you will recognize this from my Facebook status earlier today but here's a slight revision.

I don't know what it is lately but it seems to be the way things are heading, Facebook is becoming more and more stagnant. I use that word with a grain of salt because people are still using Facebook with increasing frequency but it seems to have lost the social aspect it once had. What I mean is people have just stopped giving a *beep* what other people say. You try and open the floor to an opinion, thought or anecdote and it's just passes over everyone. The same can be said with trying to make plans over Facebook, you try and gather a group to do something fun and there's just no response. To be truthful it's not just Facebook, people don't respond to texts anymore, and always act non committal on the phone, so really there's no effective way to make plans anymore. I don't know if this stems from some sort of innate self indulgence, or if everyone has suddenly adopted the "go with the flow" or "you only live once" attitude, but it's bordering on disturbing right now. And seriously, *beep* Drake.

Now I get that people have lives and make plans in other places, and that makes perfect sense, but surely the law of averages says somebody will want to do something with you at sometime. So when I'm commenting several times a week that "Hey I've found something exciting to do and I want you there" a little part of me expects some sort of response. In my core group of real life friends there are 3 of us that are pretty much up for anything at any time, providing it's within reason, and then there are a few that pop in and out. It seems as though the art of planning a group event is gone and everybody is spread thinly about and doing individual activities all over the city with no desire to do what someone else wants to do. And again, I get that the idea of a group activity is to kind of take a vote or decide on something as a group.

I also understand that there's almost a little hypocrisy here as, at times, I certainly have a tendency to make myself seem like the most important thing in the world. However it's almost as though having a Facebook has become more inconsequential than ever, and that's saying a lot. We're at a point where there's almost, um, no point, to having one. I don't know if any of you feel the same but I do know I'm not the only one who has observed this as one of my friends has deleted his Facebook account for just this reason. Beside that point I see his self imposed lockout lasting no more than a few days tops.

Now that I've most assuredly bullied you all into thinking I'm a sort of emo, self loathing creature, I choose to retire for the night. Anyone want to join me in bed?

Oh, and before I forget, this is probably the best idea ever had. A room of pillows.

http://www.downeandowte.com/comics/1543753/cuckoos-nest/

[joedozer]

In college, I took a program for writing and performing of Comedy (surprisingly, there was almost as much drama as there was comedy) and it wasn't long after I joined the local community that two things happened to my Facebook, I got plenty of friends added, and I got invited to plenty of events.

It's been four years, and I haven't done any shows in almost five months, which basically makes me a quitter. If I log on to Facebook, no matter what, I'll have over 20 event notices and invitations. I dont even update my own page, it's frequency of updates relies almost entirely of the friends I do hang out with, posting photos of me. It's a train wreck, too big, bloated.

For me, the reason why it doesn't work as a social tool is because your gambling with other's interest. Lets say I'm doing a show, and I want to have my friends come. I send out 100 invites, and 20 get back to me with a "YES", so far so good, right? Well, let's say you're a "YES" and you see there are 19 other YESSES, suddenly, you're less inclined to go because 19 other people will be going anyways. That thought process can literally occur to each and every person who made that agreement as well.

You know those flakey people who have to ask every invitation "who's going?" (I do it too, we all do, I mean people who make it a chronic habit) before they commit? Well, Facebook answers that question.

[Casual Notice]

Heh...that was great! It was like a Dockers ad for forum spam!

So, anyway, since joedozer took you seriously and not as a driveby heresfivehundredunrelatedwordsandanad poster, I'll play along.

The problem with so-called social media, with the entire internet, really, is that it's unsatisfying. You touched on the problem when you mentioned your real life friends in reference to the facebook friends' refusal to "go along" with things you think are cool or fun. We have an inborn need to fill in the gaps in our own personalities, and are driven to find people who do so. Our friends may be so wildly divergent from our own personalities that we may often wonder how we ever got together (in most cases, it was a random, right-time, right-place event). On the internet we are free to choose who we talk to, who we look at, who we associate with. Unfortunately, that often results in vanity-driven "relationships" based on a single (or minimal) shared interest. Anonymity and the plethora of choice guarantees that, in those cases, the single common point will be the only feature of the relationship.

TL;DR: We have liflong friends because we meet people who are different and they help make us whole. Interbutt relationships are shallow, because we use it as a makeup mirror for looking at our favorite bits.
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What I lack in sincerity, I make up for in sarcasm.
S*P*Q*R

[vulpeslibertas]

You're wrong, Casual. What could be more satisfying than arguing with other adults at a 5-year old's level?
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[justender]

A bit off-topic, but:

Phildowne wrote:

Oh, and before I forget, this is probably the best idea ever had. A room of pillows. http://www.downeandowte.com/comics/1543753/cuckoos-nest/

Btw, been done, it's a thing; it's called a cuddlepuddle room. (but, typically you throw down futons for a base, then pillow it up)

And that comic's website sucks. Horizontal comic (scroll, scroll, scroll) and it blocks off the last panel of the comic with the square banner thing.