TWCL

nayth · Joined: 06 May 2012 Posts: 2

Hi : D

I've been working on a starcraft webcomic for some months already. For any E sport / starcraft fan this is the manga to follow ^^

Website: http://www.starsweaver.net/

I'm just doing this for fun, so please make some feedback for me to improve : D

and the first pages :3

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thanks a lot !!!

dpat57 · Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 8:10 pm Post subject:

That's quite an attractive style, and I like your strip's selective background coloring, different from the usual, appealing to the eye.
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smbhax.com · Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:11 am Post subject:

Ohh, it's actually a (nicely) drawn comic! I feared it'd be one of those screenshot comics.
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Wild Horse · Joined: 19 Jun 2011 Posts: 76

Looks cool. I like the premise too - I've always found that whole e-sport subculture pretty interesting.

If I had a suggestion it would be to really pay attention to the writing. I got the impression from your website that you're french, so I understand it might be tricky. There's a couple of mistakes to do with past & present tense e.g. "have" instead of "had". Some other mistakes were things like "much"/"many", "other"/"others", "is"/"has", "that"/"this" and there was two "the"s in a row in the last panel.

These are all little things that the reader can get over but I think you could probably get rid of a lot of them with an extra proof-read.

Two other things that will probably come up a lot in a starcraft comic - is it "cheased" or "cheesed"? And I think it's a zerg "expanse" instead of a zerg "expand".

But apart from these niggly little language things I really like where it's going, keep it up!
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nayth · Joined: 06 May 2012 Posts: 2

Thanks wild horse ! I'll make the correction and add a little definition to the nerdy words ... I'm not an english native speaker ... I'll double check this :C