TWCL

Motmaitre · Joined: 27 Feb 2011 Posts: 25

Hello, all. Good day to you. I would really like your help in getting feedback for a proposed new comic.

It is called Black and Yellow, and is about an urban Interracial couple- a Chinese woman and Black man.

This is a pilot test- if the comic doesn't work, it will be cancelled, so please don't be afraid to hurt feelings with honest feedback. Nobody's ego will be hurt- we're simply doing research to see if the concept works or not. It is a proposed commercial project, not something done just for fun.

There are currently only four strips up, but that's enough to get a feel for what the comic is like.

Please say simply whether you would read this comic or not. Brutal honesty is very welcome. If not, say why is doesn't work for you. If you do like it but see some ways it could be improved, please share. The more feedback we get, the better the decision we can make about the future of the strip. Here it is:

http://www.blackandyellowcomic.com/

Thanks a million for taking two minutes to give honest feedback.

Kail · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 409

Probably not, but that's more personal preference than because of any problem with the comic. Generally, I'm not really into relationship humor, and this setting doesn't really resonate with me. It's about a super buff guy dating a shockingly hot girl in her underwear, so it's kinda hard for me to empathise with them. Aside from that, though, the writing seems snappy and I like the art.

I dunno if that's at all helpful, sorry. I like the comic, I think it's well done, it just doesn't seem like I'm in the target audience.

Motmaitre · Joined: 27 Feb 2011 Posts: 25

Kail wrote:

Probably not, but that's more personal preference than because of any problem with the comic. Generally, I'm not really into relationship humor, and this setting doesn't really resonate with me. It's about a super buff guy dating a shockingly hot girl in her underwear, so it's kinda hard for me to empathise with them. Aside from that, though, the writing seems snappy and I like the art.

I dunno if that's at all helpful, sorry. I like the comic, I think it's well done, it just doesn't seem like I'm in the target audience.

Thanks a lot for the feedback, Kail. Much appreciated.

Keep it coming, guys!

dpat57 · Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 11:59 am Post subject:

Nicely drawn/defined figures, albeit always at that small size.

Not sure if I appreciated the humor in a couple of the strips, especially the hoodie. But each to their own.

Methinks 4 strips actually isn't enough to get a feel for your humor potential.
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wendyw · Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:15 pm Post subject:

Like dpat57 said, four strips isn't quite enough to get a feel for whether or not I'd keep reading this comic.

I have got one suggestion though. You need to do something about the positioning of the balloon tails. As a rule they should point roughly to the position of the mouth, but preferably without being in contact with the individual talking.

The tail in speech bubbles, or any sound effects that have them, are supposed to point to the place the sound is originating from. If you look at your latest strip, the fist bubble in the first panel could probably pass, but the rest give them impression that she's talking from her forehead and he's talking from his ankle or knee.

If you keep that in mind, it'll really help the look of the comic and make it easier to read.
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Blog

vaslittlecrow · Joined: 01 Aug 2005 Posts: 612

I agree with WendyW, The word balloons need working on. The font needs to be a bit more readable, it's a bit too jagged. Aside from the hoodie and Afro joke (the latter could apply to any skin color on anyone,) I don't even see why the skin color aspect matters enough to be used as a title. As someone in an mixed relationship, it would be nice to see this aspect as secondary, unless you plan to really want to dedicate yourself to ethnic humor on later comics. Backgrounds might be nice. The navigation is a bit confusing.

smbhax.com · Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 1:03 am Post subject:

The lines are a bit heavy, especially at the comic's relatively small panel size.
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Uncle Greedy · Joined: 02 Jun 2011 Posts: 269

Sadly I must say it does not appeal to me very much. The art is a bit stereotype - the rather thick lines, the coloring and the characters make it look more like an illustration for something, but they might be a bit more personal to give the characters a personality. The humor doesn't appeal very much to me, but that might be more a personal thing, as I am not much into relationship and everday-life stories so much. Maybe I would like it better if I would find some more sympathy for the characters.