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iaviv

Joined: 03 Sep 2011 Posts: 252
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 12:06 am Post subject: Stupid Snake |
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Hello there!
Stupid Snake is a series of wordless graphic novels that I've been serializing online for almost two years now.
It's a fantasy setting, though probably quite different from any fantasy webcomic out there. There's no particular focus, the story follows a bunch of different characters and the way their lives intertwine with one another in strange and unpredictable ways.
The Stupid Snake is based on the Ouroboros, a mythological creature signifying a cycle of death and rebirth (similar to the Phoenix myth). In my comics the Snake is a monster possessing godlike powers and a pretty insignificant brain. There don't seem to be any reasons to its actions, and there really aren't any. As the story progresses the connection between the Stupid Snake and the main characters is revealed.
www.iaviv.com/stupidsnake/
I hope you'll give it a try, and if you do I would love to hear some feedback. The design is new and I'm not exactly done with; feedback on that would be great too.
(This is my first post on the forum. I sure hope I didn't do anything wrong...) |
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dlmx-13

Joined: 23 Aug 2011 Posts: 50
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Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2011 4:41 pm Post subject: |
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Wow!!! Excellent work so far!! I am a big fan of wordless comics and wordless sequences in comics so this really appeals to me - great character design and pacing as well. Would you be interested in doing a link exchange? |
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Uncle Greedy

Joined: 02 Jun 2011 Posts: 269
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 10:34 am Post subject: |
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I must say that this is the first comic here I liked so much that I read all pages and am still eager to know how the story continues. |
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iaviv

Joined: 03 Sep 2011 Posts: 252
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 2:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Uncle Greedy wrote: | | I must say that this is the first comic here I liked so much that I read all pages and am still eager to know how the story continues. |
Thanks! I hope you'll like what's coming. |
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Uncle Greedy

Joined: 02 Jun 2011 Posts: 269
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 3:45 pm Post subject: |
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I first thought it would be another manga (and I don't like mangas), but it turned out to be rather intriguing in it's wordless style.
Just checking if I get it right.
1. There is a small city with a rather cruel inition ritual. The young men get a costume as fishmen (?) at a certain age, and they must go out to kill a real one to be accepted as full man in society. If they are successful, they get a tatto on their forehead consisting of three stripes, representing the horns of a fishman.
2. There are two brothers. The older one is very successful, but his killing of fishmen has become a bloody obsession. His small brothers tries to approach the bulky fishman at the bridge, but fails.
3. Although the fishman had lost his parents to the ritual, he feels pity for the little guy and just hurls him away instead of killing him.
4. There is a strange hybrid between a human and a pterosaurus. His spouse (a full petrosaurus) gets killed by a hunter who's crazy for trophies. The petrosaurus/human nicks a part of the unlucky little brothers suit as sacrifice for his dead spouse. |
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iaviv

Joined: 03 Sep 2011 Posts: 252
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 5:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Uncle Greedy wrote: | I first thought it would be another manga (and I don't like mangas), but it turned out to be rather intriguing in it's wordless style.
Just checking if I get it right.
1. There is a small city with a rather cruel inition ritual. The young men get a costume as fishmen (?) at a certain age, and they must go out to kill a real one to be accepted as full man in society. If they are successful, they get a tatto on their forehead consisting of three stripes, representing the horns of a fishman.
2. There are two brothers. The older one is very successful, but his killing of fishmen has become a bloody obsession. His small brothers tries to approach the bulky fishman at the bridge, but fails.
3. Although the fishman had lost his parents to the ritual, he feels pity for the little guy and just hurls him away instead of killing him.
4. There is a strange hybrid between a human and a pterosaurus. His spouse (a full petrosaurus) gets killed by a hunter who's crazy for trophies. The petrosaurus/human nicks a part of the unlucky little brothers suit as sacrifice for his dead spouse. |
I actually draw this in Manga Studio, but I suspect the "Manga look" is pretty much all the tone's fault.
Anyway - you got everything right! I really enjoyed reading your comment, some of the stuff you wrote no one else mentioned to me before. Like how he's brother developed an obsession with killing monsters.
One thing, though - the "fishman" is actually a "troll.". He lives under a bridge, so I decided that he's a troll. I suppose he can be just about anything though, in a wordless comic. Hardly matters. |
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Uncle Greedy

Joined: 02 Jun 2011 Posts: 269
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 10:30 pm Post subject: |
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I actually suspected a troll because of the bridge in the beginning, but then thought it would be some exotic creature from another mythology, but it makes sense. Let's see if I get the rest right.
1. There is the old and not very successful fisherman who was lonely and created a snowwoman. Although rather playful, it was quiet serious to him, and he was really outraged when the flying serpent devoured it. But in fact it left an iceblock behind, that contained a baby, his later daughter, who nursed the pterosaurus/human and the young guy (after accidently shooting him) back to health.
2. Then there is the tiny fellow with the duck-like creature, I think a kind of monk on a mythicyl journey. The troll is in a state of shock after seeing them, because he has a phobia of ducks, connecting them with the murder of his parents.
3. For further disturbance is the young shabby guy, who also fell in love with the girl and plans to murde rhis unsuspecting rival. I assume he will have a comeback after loosing his hand to the trophy-hunter. |
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iaviv

Joined: 03 Sep 2011 Posts: 252
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 10:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Uncle Greedy wrote: | I actually suspected a troll because of the bridge in the beginning, but then thought it would be some exotic creature from another mythology, but it makes sense. Let's see if I get the rest right.
1. There is the old and not very successful fisherman who was lonely and created a snowwoman. Although rather playful, it was quiet serious to him, and he was really outraged when the flying serpent devoured it. But in fact it left an iceblock behind, that contained a baby, his later daughter, who nursed the pterosaurus/human and the young guy (after accidently shooting him) back to health.
2. Then there is the tiny fellow with the duck-like creature, I think a kind of monk on a mythicyl journey. The troll is in a state of shock after seeing them, because he has a phobia of ducks, connecting them with the murder of his parents.
3. For further disturbance is the young shabby guy, who also fell in love with the girl and plans to murde rhis unsuspecting rival. I assume he will have a comeback after loosing his hand to the trophy-hunter. |
Yes, yes and yes on all counts.
It just occurred to me that these are major spoilers. I hope no one's gonna read these before seeing the comics first. |
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Uncle Greedy

Joined: 02 Jun 2011 Posts: 269
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 10:59 pm Post subject: |
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I will stick to reading only better then. But just after writing this, I suddenly saw that there is alrady a descricption of characters I haven't even seen before. I think they are much more a spoiler, even if helpful in explaining. But I think you can get the story without the explanation. |
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iaviv

Joined: 03 Sep 2011 Posts: 252
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 11:04 pm Post subject: |
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Ha good point. I had a hard time with the characters page. Maybe I should just leave their name and completly discard everything else... sigh |
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Uncle Greedy

Joined: 02 Jun 2011 Posts: 269
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Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 10:10 am Post subject: |
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The main fascination for this comic and the reason I read all of it was getting the clues together and trying to figure out what was going on. The way the characters get together works quite well, tying the personal stories in one by one. If I had read the character descriptions before the comic (luckily I just saw them after finishing and writing my interpretations) I might have been less interested. For example the Troll and his fear of ducks. First it is very puzzling why such a big guy should be afraid of ducks, but it makes sense if you follow the storyline. If I had read before that his weakness are ducks, I might just have said: "Ha ha, very quirky." The same for the story with thepterosaurus. Without reading the descriptions, I suspected first a kind of monster/demon that was out to devour the poor little fellow, but his rather sad story turns out that he is a rather decent fellow after all, while the hunter develops more monstrous; the same for the big brother who turns out to be the real bad guy, while the troll gets the sympathy. If I had read about the spouse, etc. before, it would be less interesting. |
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iaviv

Joined: 03 Sep 2011 Posts: 252
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Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 10:37 am Post subject: |
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So what should I do with the Characters page? Just leave their names and cut the descriptions out? I just thought of maybe adding a "first appearance" link to each character, linking to the first page they appear in.
Anything else I can do? |
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Uncle Greedy

Joined: 02 Jun 2011 Posts: 269
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Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 10:59 am Post subject: |
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I think just leaving the names and maybe the chapter of first appearance is good enough, the comic speaks of itself.
As for the maincharacter, you could even think of another name, because "The troll costume" even gives away a hint to early. I first wondered why this guy wore such a ridiculous outfit and wondered if he was a kind of fool (I thought about Simplicissimus from Grimmelshausen) who got seperated from his court, or something like the fairytale of the princess in the donkeyskin (I forgot the english title of that). Then I realized the similarity to the troll but I really got it as late as he had entered the city. |
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dpat57 Ich bin ein webcomicker

Joined: 11 Aug 2008 Posts: 2495 Location: Sunny/wet/windy Scotland
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Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 12:06 pm Post subject: |
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That was an entertaining read. I didn't mean to read it all, it just kept going on and on.  Nicely done artwork and characterization. _________________  |
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iaviv

Joined: 03 Sep 2011 Posts: 252
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Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 1:29 pm Post subject: |
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@Uncle Greedy - I'll work on it. Thanks for all your input!
@dpat57 - Thanks! It doesn't take long to read wordless comics, so the experience may seem lacking sometimes... but I can't help making them nontheless. |
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