TWCL

[lianne]

I'm sure I'm not the only one here who'd like to get a little constructive criticism from people who like and/or are good at webcomics. But, as recent other threads have discussed, and as I'm sure many of you have noticed in the "Check out my comic" forum, it's hard to get that kind of direct, specific criticism that you can really use to make yourself better. And it's hard to GIVE direct, specific criticism without being (or at least feeling) cruel.

Hence, this thread, and this question:
What is the ONE thing I should work on next to improve my comic?

Here's what I suggest:
-if you want honest, harsh-as-necessary criticism, post a link to your comic.
-Anyone who wants to critique, please look at at least 5 of that comic's most recent pages (no point in commenting on old stuff and giving outdated feedback).
-Then, post the thing that you think that creator should concentrate hardest on improving.
-if you hope to be critiqued or have been critiqued, please pass it on by critiquing at least 3 others.


Guidelines for critiquers
-Just the ONE most important thing, no matter how many things you hope they'll improve on eventually.
-Keep the One Thing as specific as possible.
-Needs improvement only; this is not the thread for praise.
-Be honest, be direct, but please don't be snarky or discouraging - if someone posts here, it's because they want to improve, and no one can work on improving everything at once.
-Don't be intimidated to comment on someone you feel is more skilled than you; if you don't feel qualified to criticize as an artist/writer, criticize as a reader.

Guidelines for critiquees
-Don't post your link for critique if you're not prepared for harsh criticism.
-Sit on your hands: don't argue, get defensive, swear that your unposted pages are already better etc. We all know that desire to have people know your comic is better than the worst they see in it, but please resist.
-Be content with what you get, please don't fish around for compliments or for extra things that need work.
-I'd actually suggest that the critiquee doesn't respond at all unless there's a question, that way we won't get cluttered up with a million thank yous.

[lianne]

So, since I've suggested this, I guess I'd better be brave and go first.

Here's my comic:
Geist!

Have at it, and thanks!

[Wolfus]

I don't think you should worry so much about rules and keeping the thread trim. It's a forum full of mostly nice people here.
I mean one point per critique is a nice idea, but why not "one criticism, one strength?" Not just to spare feelings, but it is as important to know your strengths as your weaknesses.

lianne wrote:

So, since I've suggested this, I guess I'd better be brave and go first. Here's my comic: Geist! Have at it, and thanks!

Your speech bubbles need work. They are nicely drawn and placed - but the font, word and letter spacing are really detracting from your comic. When someone shouts, just sizing up the font is not always effective. Changing from bold, italic or even a different font can have greater effect.

As a positive: I think your comic is a really refreshing change from purely digital work.
_________________

[RustMonster]

lianne wrote:

Geist!

I read the last 10 or so strips, and I was trying to figure out what was up with Kate's face. At first I thought it was warpaint or something, but the way her right iris blends seamlessly with the mark on her cheek makes it hard to interpret. I didn't think it was magic because the magic on the arrow had a completely different look.

Eventually, I looked at the cast page and saw she has a magical scar/curse that's affecting her perceptions... but it doesn't really read like a scar or a magical glyph/effect. I don't have a solution in mind... simply drawing the full eyelid to separate the cursed iris from the scar on the cheek might do it.

I don't know if it's the thing you "should concentrate hardest on improving" but as a new reader it really distracted me.


I'll put up two of my projects, and people can comment on the one they choose.

Rusty & Co. - A fantasy comic loosely based on Dungeons & Dragons.

Erratic Comics - A communal comic randomizer I've semi-abandoned due to lack of contributors. Specifically, I'm interested in what I can do to encourage more people to send in art assets.

[lianne]

Wolfus wrote:

I don't think you should worry so much about rules and keeping the thread trim. It's a forum full of mostly nice people here. I mean one point per critique is a nice idea, but why not "one criticism, one strength?" Not just to spare feelings, but it is as important to know your strengths as your weaknesses.

Fair point. Apparantly I have a bit of rulesifyer in me

[ttallan]

OK, I'll play.

Geist!--

I want to say backgrounds, as the one thing I'd like to see improved. In five pages I really have very little idea where the story is taking place. Some sort of building, occasionally some trees. I'd guess a school? In any event, I'd suggest that you could make your backgrounds work harder to take on some of the worldbuilding chores, and make the place seem more real.
_________________

[Mockingbirdflyaway]

RustMonster wrote:

I'll put up two of my projects, and people can comment on the one they choose. Rusty & Co. - A fantasy comic loosely based on Dungeons & Dragons.

I picked Rusty & Co.... Beyond the obvious similarities to Goblins (at least, premise-wise... though thumbs up for the gelatinous cube.... I remember one time on a quest we hit one of those... oh god it was so awf - *ahem*. Well, that's a tale for another time...)

Anyhows, I read from the plotting of the concert till the most recent, (as well as other chunks) and my big critique is that while I like the colour palette you use, your colours are not very unified and your light sources aren't carefully thought out. (The two sort of go together)

For example, in panel 4 of page 4-21, there's obviously a yellowish light source rather brightly illuminating Princess and Mimic, but the light doesn't even reach the buildings in the background, whether it be giving them a bit of a glow in the darkness or having the light reflecting off the glass of the windows, and while there is a light source faintly illuminating them, it's not from the same direction as the light source in the foreground of the panel.

Another example, the previous page in the last panel, there's a shadow crossing the wall on the diagonal. It passes behind the blue pixie singer chick/elf/girl who's sitting with her back to the wall, but then why is it not passing over her? It doesn't make sense, as she's not creating the shadow... thus it should pass over her. Not doing so gives the sense she's not exactly well integrated into the scenery.


I'll post some of my stuff later

[Luke]

Geist:

Your characters often look off balance. They look like they're leaning forward, or tripping sightly a lot of the time.

I guess the way to fix this problem would be to really look at the sketches after you've drawn them. Think to yourself, if I was standing like this, would I fall over? Better yet, try to stand like that and see if you can comfortably stay upright.

I dig your colouring, though.

Rusty and Co.:

Hm, I can't find any huge faults with this one. If I have to pick, I'd say that it feels like I've read this comic before, y'know? It's very much a "Fantasy Webcomic". If that's what you're going for then more power to you.

Art is lovely.


If anybody would like to: Swanny Nook

And telling me that I need to actually update every now and then doesn't count.
_________________

[lianne]

Rusty & Co:

I'd like to see more variety in line weight. Since you're strong in action and perspective, that would really help this comic level up in terms of 3d-ness and dynamism.

Following Wolfus' suggestion, I'm going to ignore my original idea and give a positive. The enthusiastic sound effects - they add so much energy! I realize this sounds like a rather pathetic positive if you assume that this is the biggest strength I could find in the comic, but that's not it at all: there are a number of very strong things about this comic that I could have picked, but sometimes it's the quirky little things that really stand out. It's not the BEST thing about the comic, it's the thing that caught my eye as different and good.

[RustMonster]

Hey, thanks guys. This next week is my mailbag week (i.e. recycled art vacation week), but once the story starts up again, I'll use everything you've said.

I would like a little clarification on one point though:

Luke wrote:

Rusty and Co.: Hm, I can't find any huge faults with this one. If I have to pick, I'd say that it feels like I've read this comic before, y'know? It's very much a "Fantasy Webcomic". If that's what you're going for then more power to you.

Could you go into a little more detail on this one, Luke? Examples, maybe? I only ask because most people say the opposite, so I'd like to get a clearer understanding of what you mean.

[ttallan]

Rusty & Co:

I had a hard time with this, as your comic is quite nice. But the thing I'd like to see improved, if I had to pick something, is the colour. I feel a bit weird saying it because I'm the last person in the world who should be complaining about this, but the pages that I looked at seemed... muddy? The colours didn't seem to be very, er, harmonious? I'm sorry I can't actually give advice on how to improve it-- you'd have to turn to someone who has more experience with colour than me.


Swanny Nook:

I was going to say spend more time on the characters' hands, but it seems there has been a vast improvement already between the most recent page and their previous appearance a couple pages ago. You've changed your colouring style as well, I think? I'm wondering now if it would be unfair to critique anything but the most recent page, if your style has evolved so much between chapters one and two. Should I wait until you have a few more new pages up?

EDIT: OK, I guess I should grit my teeth and accept critiques in return. If you'd like to tell me what bugs you most about Galaxion, click on the banner below. Just please don't tell me I need to do it in colour (I get that a lot), unless you are willing to be my colourist.
_________________

[Luke]

ttallan wrote:

Swanny Nook: I was going to say spend more time on the characters' hands, but it seems there has been a vast improvement already between the most recent page and their previous appearance a couple pages ago. You've changed your colouring style as well, I think? I'm wondering now if it would be unfair to critique anything but the most recent page, if your style has evolved so much between chapters one and two. Should I wait until you have a few more new pages up?

Nah, go ahead. I've been updating very very slowly as of late, so I fear you would be waiting a long time.
_________________

[Luke]

RustMonster wrote:

Could you go into a little more detail on this one, Luke? Examples, maybe? I only ask because most people say the opposite, so I'd like to get a clearer understanding of what you mean.

(I've only read level 4, so I'll just go on that.)

Well, it's a fantasy world, but stuff like rock music and electric instruments still exist. The characters, or at least one character is aware they are in a comic. There is a goofy guy, and a bad ass lady, not to mention the obvious parallels between this and any D&D webcomic.

But moreso than any one similarity that can be drawn with other comics, it just has a familiar feel. It's hard to explain what I mean here, but it just feels like other comics that I've read.

Early Looking For Group is definitely what it reminded me of when I was reading through. Tone is probably too specific a word to describe what I mean here, but it just "feels" like I've read this before.

I've not been very good at articulating my point. Sorry I can't be more helpful...
_________________

[RustMonster]

Luke wrote:

Tone is probably too specific a word to describe what I mean here, but it just "feels" like I've read this before. I've not been very good at articulating my point. Sorry I can't be more helpful...

It's okay, I appreciate the attempt. I was just a little surprised since it wasn't a comment I'd heard before.

ttallan wrote:

Rusty & Co: I had a hard time with this, as your comic is quite nice. But the thing I'd like to see improved, if I had to pick something, is the colour. I feel a bit weird saying it because I'm the last person in the world who should be complaining about this, but the pages that I looked at seemed... muddy? The colours didn't seem to be very, er, harmonious?

Definitely the most common suggestion I've gotten. I've been learning some color theory lately — mostly about how to tie a scene together — so I think I'll have this fixed for the next arc. Thanks again!

[lianne]

Swanny Nook:

There seems to be something screwy in your archives - at one point fairly early in the archive, I clicked Next and it skipped me straight to the latest page, but if I clicked Back from the latest page, it took me to the correct previous pages for the latest page.

I don't think that counts as a thing to improve, just letting you know...

So, to improve: I can't quite put my finger on why, but it feels like your characters aren't quite interacting fully with each other when they talk. It might be because you often have the characters facing front while speaking, and panels with speach often only show the speaking character, giving a bit of a talking head effect. This is improving noticeably tin the pages I looked at, though, so I suspect you're either working on it already, or it's something you're just improving in naturally.

Positive: The colour schemes are very pleasant and harmonious. I hadn't realized how much that can affect the reading experience - it's just nicer to look at!