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[quote="SmokingGun"]Thank you everyone for the feedback, right now I'm redrafting the first page and spreading it out to fit about 4 pages worth of content. I figured when I hone my craft a little better I will post more content on the board to hopefully entice an artist to come aboard (and hopefully will have work by then to pay them). If anyone is interested in the story-line just for curiosity sake you can PM me, it would be great to get feedback from others then just my circle of friends.[/quote]
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Posted: Sat Nov 30, 2013 6:48 pm
Post subject: Page arrangement
IMHO six panels on a page would be more comfortable. 9 panels is not a mistake especially when we want to show 2-person dialog or we want to focus camera on details.
Posted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 9:37 pm
Thank you everyone for the feedback, right now I'm redrafting the first page and spreading it out to fit about 4 pages worth of content. I figured when I hone my craft a little better I will post more content on the board to hopefully entice an artist to come aboard (and hopefully will have work by then to pay them). If anyone is interested in the story-line just for curiosity sake you can PM me, it would be great to get feedback from others then just my circle of friends.
Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 10:05 pm
Ok im going to start out by saying unfortunatly i dont really have time to work on a project like this. The story line you wrote for this is amazing and if you were writing a movie script the outline you made would work pretty well. However it is hard to put as much detail as you want in a single panel. From ypur outline i can see many many comics.
Ill take your first two panels and show you what i mean
caption: new york 12:59 pm
We see a mother sitting in a chair going through mail
We see her eyes widen as she comes across a letter
The mother covers her mouth and tears roll down her eye
You have a really great story line and if you find an artist i have a feeling you can take this pretty far.
Honestly i really wish i had the time to work on a piece like this but school and work is barely leaving me time for my own projects.
I wish you the best of luck and if you still havent foubd an artist around christmas time contact me my schedule should open up around then
Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:53 pm
Thank you for the advice, i'll take any and all help I can get!
Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 2:03 pm
I'm not able to help you on this project, but I can offer some friendly advice. That's a lot of story to put into one page, and to squeeze into nine little panels. (I'm assuming you plan to print a book that's roughly the size of an average comic. The constraints are slightly different if you plan to print larger or just stay online.) This is a common problem for first-time comic writers.
When you're writing out your script, try this: scribble out the layout of the page yourself. Nothing fancy, stick figures are fine, you're just trying to get a sense of how much you can comfortably fit into a panel. Be sure to put the word balloons and captions in, since they take up more room than people think.
It's a technique that many pro writers in the industry use, and it also helps to communicate to your artist the vision you have for the story.
(And apologies in advance for blurting out advice if none was wanted.
Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 1:45 am
Post subject: Writer looking for an artist on a collaboration.
Hello, I'm Richard Headrick. A former member of the USAF, I'm interested in writing a Sci-Fi/Drama Graphic novel. At its very core it is a tale of revenge, The protagonist brother is branded a traitor by the Earth government after one of its colonies rebels against the state, Tom(who is the main character) has reason to believe that not everything is coming to light with this story, so he starts investigating and finds out that there is a conspiracy within the military that used his brother as a scapegoat.
armed with the knowledge that his brother is innocent, Tom sets out for revenge against the conspirators. On a different note, right now I do not plan to host this Graphic novel on any site, the current plan is to get a kickstarter campaign going to help out with the cost of getting this published, but in the future I will revisit this train of thought and see if hosting is the right way to go.
I'm a first time writer, or at least this is the first project I seriously have put thought into going commercial with, so here is the first page of what I'm working on.
The first page will 9 panels, The first panel will cover the entire width of the page and the rest is split between 2 rows.
The first panel going is going to show a mother reading an official document. The rest of the panels will a side by side shot of her reaction and the death of her son.
Int. Marcus Residence, New York - DAY
A middle-aged mother is sitting in her living room when she receives an e-mail from the War Department, immediately she stands up and begins to read its contents.
12, January 2221.
Dear Mrs. Marcus, it is with a heavy heart that I must inform you that CAPT. Marcus, Clancy A., has been Killed in Action in Serenity City.
The mothers eyes widen as she realizes what the contents of the letter are.
The perspective is if someone was standing, watching what was about to happen.
EXT. BACKALLEY, SERENITY CITY.
In the foreground is CAPT. Marcus who is put onto his knees, he is bloody and beaten, clothes are ragged and torn. He is weary, but there is still a sense of defiance left in him. Behind him is a man concealed by shadows pointing a gun to the back of his head.
MAN IN THE SHADOWS: Any Last Words?
There can be no words of comfort for a mother that loses her child.
The mother stricken with grief starts tearing up and falls to her knees.
The focus is on the pistol and the only sound is the *click* of the hammer.
CAPTION: He was loved by all his men, they were his family away from home.
This view is from behind the mother, she starts to tremble.
The focus is entirely on the pistol and a loud audible *BANG* effect is used, blood sprays towards the shooter.
CAPTION: He served with bravery and honor, and all of Earth honors his sacrifice.
Secretary General, GUU
The view is still behind the mother, and she visibly slumps to the floor and starts to sob, her husband and younger son rush to see what is wrong.
The panel zooms out to show CAPT. MARCUS body, lifelessly hit the wall and slides down to the pavement.
End of Page 1.
I wish I could offer some sort of payment, I'm in the middle of searching for employment, the only thing I can promise right now are shares of the back-end profit when this gets published. If my job search goes well then I would be more than willing to Negotiate a price for services rendered.
For the art style I'm looking for a more realistic style, colored as well. But I'm flexible on both accounts. If anyone is interested shoot me an email at
. Thank you for your time.
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